School is back!!!!!

I am so excited! I am beyond fat-kid-in-candy-store happy…I am more like abused orphan meets her long lost parents who adore her and want to love her forever happy. I love school! I love my house! I love my friends! I love my boyfriend! I love being back! And I plan on not leaving this time. Sure summer gave me a serious three months of alone reflection/growing time but it sucked. I don’t plan on doing that again. My life is meant to be active and adventurous. The highlight of my day should NOT be going home to sleep. Sleeping can be great but too much is a waste of precious time that can be used for much better things.

Over the summer, it was like I was held in pause for awhile. Yes I did great things and I do actually miss my job, coworkers and kids but I would much rather be here. Since I have gone back to classes, I feel like my intelligence has returned to rush through my college veins to invigorate and inspire my body. Maybe I’m just a dork for loving school so much but I couldn’t care less. Dorks make it big now a days. I signed up for classes I knew I would love. So far, it has proved that my judgement in taste was correct. My favorite class so far is my Drama Lit class. I was starving for conversation and a life back in the theatre and this class is what I needed. I actually nearly cried when we discussed the Moscow Art Theatre’s production of The Sea Gull and how it launched them into success. If none of you know or have even heard of the MAT, you should definitely look into it. It is a story of struggle, change, endurance and unexpected success. Truly inspiring to the artsy type who hope to make it against all odds. 

The only “set back” I have encountered so far is the people I thought were leaving have returned to the school. At first it was extremely tense when I saw them but after a little time I was approached so that they could mend the bridges that were burned. Lets just say that last year, the parting conversations we had were not pleasant. I am thankful for the time we have all had to mature because the only thing I wanted to do was act like a little kid and tell them off. But I guess the counseling job did a lot of good for me in learning patience with people. I certainly did not let them off the hook easy, but just enough so that it wouldn’t feel like all the air was being sucked out of the room when we saw each other. Jeeze, you would think drama would be left behind when you went to college. Apparently not here. I know that this year will be dramatically less stressful than last even though I have more “adult” things to worry about. I must get a job, pay my tuition, pay my bills, fix my ridiculous bank issues, and start this new sorority. It’s borderline insanity but I believe it can be done.

Now that I live in a house with just me and my friends, things that used to stress my out seem like nothing. Curfew is now non existent and my guy friends can actually visit. It’s a good life. I am one of the blessed ones and I’m thankful for it.

Writing down my random stream of consciousness is all fun and dandy but it’s late and I should probably sleep. Yea, I should definitely sleep.

Until next time,

Peace out 

Alright, Captain America is my new favorite movie!! Any Marvel fan, no scratch that…any human being should see it.

Hey followers that probably never see my posts (forever alone).

I just realized the other day that I haven’t actually talked on here in way too long. This is unacceptable since most of my thoughts happen in movie/dialogue form.

Since my last long text post, my life has changed dramatically, I have a boyfriend, I finished my first year of college, I moved to an extremely boring place, I got a job, I have had many fights/arguments with stupid people….etc. Since moving away from ATL I have been in the middle of nowhere country with a lonely 83 acres surrounding me with no neighbors. Some would see this as a heavenly sanctum of peace and tranquility in the country quietness. Sometimes it is really fantastic but other times I feel like I’m going freaken insane. I am used to being 20 minutes from downtown ATL where the clubs, shops, theaters, and culture was constantly calling my name. Now the only thing calling my name are the red neck hillbillies that whistle at me and call me “baby”. The truly sad thing is many of those whistling hillbillies are my relatives.

Talk about a serious cultural and atmosphere change.

On the plus side, since being up here my parents are finally realizing that they haven’t been giving me the credit I so well deserve. They have never treated me like the mature young adult that I am. Now that they can physically see me make money, use it responsibly, fix everyone’s problems, and have all my crap together, they are starting to respect me a lot more. A pinnacle moment has come to pass in my life where my parents realize that I have felt kind of like I was raising them the past year or so. As the counselor of the family, when someone needs to vent, especially my mom, I get a call. Somehow I think of the cheesy Ghost Busters theme song…who you gonna call…GHOST BUSTERS!!! Yea, I’m lame and we know it. But, I guess I said this last paragraph about parents, changing, and responsibility as an encouragement to all who are waiting for that respect they so deserve. It will happen some day.

On another note, being away from the one you love sucks balls!! I have never been the mushy, lovey, girly type. But honestly, when love came my way I felt totally ridiculous. If you recall, I was the one who had the phrases such as, “I will be single forever”, “Love is impossible for me”, “screw love and boyfriends”…yea, I was that girl. What’s even funnier is the fact that I will sometimes still make comments about how silly the mushy stuff is and how gross love is when I do it anyways. Honestly the best irony of my entire life has come to pass. I was the independent one who would play the game of catch and release. As soon as a guy said the “L” word I hightailed it out of that situation before he could attempt to explain his emotions further. This one guy changed everything. I know that sounds too movieish and cheesy but it’s true. He is the first to ever make me admit my feelings to him, the first to actually hear me say the words “I love you” and actually mean it in a romantic sense, and the first guy to have my heart. According to him I am the first girl in his life that has had all that from him as well. We are ridiculously similar and we acted exactly the same about love before we met each other. We are also best friends. We were the rebels. Felt like it was “me against the world”, well now it’s “us against the world”. Ha, I guess some things never change.

Don’t worry, for those of you who are like the former me, I will change the subject from love to other forms of empowerment so you won’t get the urge to throw up. In my job, I act as a counselor. I work in a Juvenile Detention Center as a youth leader. I see kids everyday who have hit rock bottom, who have been abused, raped, committed serious crimes, attempted suicide, and have given up on their future. Most look at kids like this and scowl and think, “typical delinquent youth who should be locked up for their useless life”. That to me is a pointless view, thoughts and beliefs like these are a main reason why so many kids actually just give up. I look at these kids and know that all they need it to be pointed in the right direction and have some inspiration to get them going. My personal goal every day when I go to work is to get my girls to smile at least once. You would be surprised at how many of these kids never smile and never laugh. As I talk to them, encourage them and get to know them, I try to be the example they need at this delicate point in their life. I challenge them to think about the kind of future that they want, if they want to make an actual positive impact in this world, who will remember them when they are gone, the goals they want in life, and many other things. Most of these kids just wanted someone to talk to who won’t treat them like some stupid animal. From my perspective, my actual job is not to lock these kids up, but to show them how their biggest enemy is themselves and all they need is to do is have some faith. It’s amazing what a Juvenile Detention Center can teach you.

The lessons I have learned this year are countless and so valuable that I want to write them all down. I hope I can eventually share more of life’s little lessons and struggles and I hope that they will help someone. 

After all, that’s what I’m here for.

Ever get sick of the insane old perverted men in this world? Im sure even the younger guys get sick of it…